I miss radio.

There.

I said it. I miss radio.

Not the mundane things like paying royalties and juggling rotations, or even the excitement of getting new music in the mail. What I really miss is the emails I would get at just the right time. When the studio computer needed work and the royalties were past due and I was just about ready to give up. Those emails would come in.

Telling me that something that we played or said made a difference in someones life. An eternal difference. And it suddenly was worth every second I put into it. I miss making a difference. I miss seeing lives changed.

I often wonder when I gave up. At what point did I make the choice that I would take the easy path of working my job and nothing more?

Was it when someone I considered a friend and a partner in ministry filed a restraining order against my family so we couldn't interact with their kids? Was it when the local churches failed to show the moral fortitude that should have come easily and refused to stand up for us? Maybe. I know that is when organized religion started to make me throw up a little every time I was around it.

All I know is that it quickly became too painful for me to reach people through radio. We sold the station, and I focused on escape.

I miss radio.

A reason to live.

July of 2001 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I spent the next 5 years trying to reach that 5 year cancer-free milestone. That was my driving force for almost 6 years.

I reached that milestone, and paused.

Pausing and reflecting are good activities. The problem is I've been paused for far too long. I need a reason to press on. A reason to get up in the morning and do stuff. I know of lots of things that should be that reason. But none of them carry the urgency or intensity of staying alive.

I don't expect you, dear reader, to know what that reason is any more than I know it. I am simply logging my disenchantment with the status quo.

I recently told a friend, "Nothing will change until you change".
Perhaps it is time for me to heed my own advice.

The vampires want your blood.

House of Heroes
Make a Face Like You Mean It.

Don't bother to show integrity,

it never sells on the market.

Chain all the world down.

Don't fuss with your creativity,

they never asked for an artist.

Take all the heart out.

All the kids want to rock,

but they don't want to sit through another boring chorus.

One or two at the top might give you a shot,

but they don't want to risk any losses.

Take all the heart out.



The vampires want you blood.

You can't always get what you want, but they do.

You can't always get what you want, but they know:

the truth is what they want it to be.



Drop by drop.

The camera flash casts shadows from their egos.

Sing a song like you wrote it.

Puppets don't think, puppets just dance.

Make a face like you mean it. 

Why I am not getting an iPhone 3G

I live in an area of the country not serviced by AT&T.

I am looking forward to getting firmware 2.0 on my iPod Touch.

This whole mess

It really seems like it was just yesterday that Corey, Kelly, Kerri and I were trying to come up with a positioning statement for KADU. Kelly joked, "We Just Rock." And we latched on to it.

I managed to snag the wejustrock.com domain a few days later and paid for it out of my own pocket.

Today I decided it was time to put the domain back to use.